Apparently my definition of holiness is different than other people. It could, I suppose, be argued that mine is immediately incorrect, as I do not consider myself to be an observant Jew – the phrase I heard from my mother growing up and that I have somewhat adopted is ‘Religious Reform,’ though recently I lean more toward ‘progressive.’ I have gone to Hebrew Day School for 14 years, though that does not make me a better Jew than anyone else who attended public school, nor does it mean that I am a lesser Jew because I did not attend Yeshiva, I do not wear skirts unless I choose to for a special occasion, and I do plan on covering my head when I get married (which will not be in the next few years). I know the laws, though not all in full detail (I’m still hazy on whether or not we’re supposed to give back a found wallet if the owner is not Jewish, and how many metres of grass my cattle can have if my neighbour is my brother in law. I believe that for my Judaism to mean something to me I must choose those adherences which enhance my spiritual growth. I do not believe in blind faith, though I find it a fascinating topic of study and often envy those who can subscribe to it.
I believe that the basis of holiness is the golden rule. Love thy neighbour as thyself. I believe that we must strive to go beyond that – try thinking of someone else first, though ensuring your own health and safety. I’ve heard arguments against this by people who bring up self-loathing, and those who do not treat themselves with dignity and honour. Perhaps it should be ‘love your neighbour as you wish you could love yourself.’ Through the loving of others we reach that beautiful, fulfilling place beyond self acceptance, and can reach self love.
I am in shock, I am frightened, and I am so disappointed by the events which are happening in Israel and indeed the entire world, but particularly the Jewish community, in regards to this march for pride and tolerance. I am in shock because as much as I am not so naïve to think that Jews do not commit sins against Jews (I just participated in Rabin’s memorial day with a moving ceremony in Kikar Rabin – accompanied by a Gaza protest, of course) I am disgusted and stunned at the scope to which people will use my religion, MY religion, OUR religion, and use it to incite hatred against a group of people who were born being attracted to people with a different combination of X and Y chromosomes than we are told is natural. Whose only sin is wanting to express that attraction and love without the common discrimination and violence that can be seen, and appallingly even now expected and accepted and somewhat institutionalized, here. I am shocked that a group who claims to and is seen to represent the epitome of my religion, the core of it, those who protect it, will use my religion to disobey what I see as far more important laws in order to subjugate another group who are doing nothing to them personally. These important laws are led with our friend the Golden Rule. They include respect for all people, accepting/welcoming the stranger, and recognizing that EVERYONE is created in the image of God. I find those to be so much more important and basic to this religion which is so integral in their lives than ensuring that one group which, according to traditional Jewish law, is not permitted to express their feelings openly (it does not say that one cannot have these feelings, by the way – we just can’t act on them) will not speak out against prejudice in a legal gathering which is their basic right as well.
I am frightened. Not only a knot in the pit of my stomach that something will happen while I am at the rally, which I will not outwardly share with people because I am so adamant about the importance of going but also the cause of the reason I am not directly convincing people who are on the fence to go, perhaps in order to avoid my own guilt should something, God forbid, happen. I am also frightened both for my faith personally, and the future of the religion as a whole. Me personally, I am afraid of losing faith. Why should I want to stay a part of a religion which condones this violent, immoral and, in my eyes, sac-religious behaviour? It is only my personal beliefs and the faith in my community that are holding me in. It is my drive to change rather than run away, and to know that they best way to do that is from the inside and with a dedicated heart and soul. For the religion, I don’t see how the rest of the world can’t detest us right now. For the progressive and ambivalent of the world, they see an archaic, violent people which will not stand by each other when we hurt. For those who hate us already, they have more reason and see us as divided and weak – what better opportunity to strike than when we cannot agree on who gets to march and where, and who is allowed whom in their private bed, never mind holding hands in the street.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
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