I've been off for a while, and will continue to be off until my time in Israel this summer, at which point this will serve as my trip journal. See you then.
~j
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
where does the time go when it's not around here?
it's been a month and a half since I've found the time to post. I largely blame it on my submission to the theatre. I remember Janette, one of my theatre teachers in high school used to believe in the theatre spirits/gods/pixies/insertyourfavouritemythicalcreaturehere. Well if she believes that they really exist, then I belive that there exists some sort of theatre purgatory where people slip into during shows. I swear - Ruddigore took a giant bite out of three months of my life, chewed on it, sucked on it, then spat it out in a glory of theatrical wonder.
now don't get me wrong - the show was fantastic, the cast was fantastic - everything was... fantastic. BUT WHERE DID THOSE THREE MONTHS GO? HONESTLY?
the interesting side effect of it is that you delve so deep into the world, that you forget that everyone outside isn't watching your every move (a common feeling when you're an actor) so you wonder why they bitch and cry "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THREE MONTHS?"
my response: "uhh... I moved into the theatre. yeah... i live under the stage.... in a box"
Yes it's true.... life does go on when you're not looking.
I keep asking myself why I didn't decide to study theatre in university. In retrospect, it's been great studying philosophy and religion - I've amassed a great amount of knowledge. BUT I think I would have amassed a huge amount more of life experience if I had been studying theatre.
It's been beautiful working with vcp, but I feel like I need a more disciplined experience. Now contrast that with my desire to become a Rabbi. People keep saying that they are two careers that compliment each other nicely - Rabbi's need to know how to "perform," they say... so I should do well, they say.
But there's this giant magnet in the theatre that pulls me towards it. I can't escape my desire to always live life on the Stage. capital "S"
To make it all the more complicated - would I have it any other way? - acting is not the only profession I'd see myself pursuing. Lighting and production design have also come to the forefront of my theatre fortes. WHAT TO DO?
I think it's time some of Janette's theatre spirits send me an epiphany.
In the meantime, I'll be looking at the National Theatre School after I graduate York. I know I'm not heading straight to HUC, so NTS might be a nice stop on the way. Or a permanent stop...?
now don't get me wrong - the show was fantastic, the cast was fantastic - everything was... fantastic. BUT WHERE DID THOSE THREE MONTHS GO? HONESTLY?
the interesting side effect of it is that you delve so deep into the world, that you forget that everyone outside isn't watching your every move (a common feeling when you're an actor) so you wonder why they bitch and cry "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THREE MONTHS?"
my response: "uhh... I moved into the theatre. yeah... i live under the stage.... in a box"
Yes it's true.... life does go on when you're not looking.
I keep asking myself why I didn't decide to study theatre in university. In retrospect, it's been great studying philosophy and religion - I've amassed a great amount of knowledge. BUT I think I would have amassed a huge amount more of life experience if I had been studying theatre.
It's been beautiful working with vcp, but I feel like I need a more disciplined experience. Now contrast that with my desire to become a Rabbi. People keep saying that they are two careers that compliment each other nicely - Rabbi's need to know how to "perform," they say... so I should do well, they say.
But there's this giant magnet in the theatre that pulls me towards it. I can't escape my desire to always live life on the Stage. capital "S"
To make it all the more complicated - would I have it any other way? - acting is not the only profession I'd see myself pursuing. Lighting and production design have also come to the forefront of my theatre fortes. WHAT TO DO?
I think it's time some of Janette's theatre spirits send me an epiphany.
In the meantime, I'll be looking at the National Theatre School after I graduate York. I know I'm not heading straight to HUC, so NTS might be a nice stop on the way. Or a permanent stop...?
Friday, February 11, 2005
L'Kayitz Haba'ah B'Yisrael
So I just found out that I'll be spending this summer in Israel staffing a NFTY trip as Rosh T'fillah! Needless to say, Jesse is very excited... but I find this part of me is tingling to go back to Kutz. I definately will be in Israel - I think it's the job of a lifetime... but man do I miss camp.
Damn you Joni Mitchell and your "don't know what you've got 'till it's gone." You're so right, and it hurts.
Damn you Joni Mitchell and your "don't know what you've got 'till it's gone." You're so right, and it hurts.
Tonight was a great night
Tonight was a great night. It's good to get drunk with good friends and sing Moxy Fruvous at 2 in the morning. I think it's really healthy - a catharsis of sorts. If songs that Moxy Fruvous wrote 12 years ago are able to help me release the stresses of the week (that and six pints of beer and a shot of Tequila) then I can go to sleep content that it's been a great night.
Thank you friends, you've made it a truly good day!
Thank you friends, you've made it a truly good day!
Monday, February 07, 2005
Sunday, February 06, 2005
wrestling with God
I spent the greater part of my day trying to wrestle with God. Not in the Jacob wrestling with God sense, but in the Jesse wrestling with his concept of God sense. Rabbi Elyse Goldstein is the scholar-in-residence at Shul this weekend, and she lead a really interesting lunch session on God concepts. Thinking about God is like thinking about infiniti, you can do it, but it really hurts sometimes. I find that the more I think about God, the more I realize I don't even know where to begin. But Rabbi Elyse said something this morning that really jumped out at me.
She said something along the lines of.... "It's very hard for me to think of God and how God exists in this world, but it's even harder for me to think of a world where God doesn't exist."
I think that I've always believed in God. I don't really remember a time where I didn't. But at that point this morning, I had this connection with my understanding of God that I've never really had before. I realized how scary it is for me to imagine a world where God doesn't exist and where God doesn't play an integral role in existence. I just can't wrap my mind around it. As difficult as it is for me to wrap my mind around the very idea of God, it's terrifying for me to even try to wrap my mind around the notion of a Godless world.
Of course I respect all people's approaches to God... everybody needs to come to the point where they meet what works for them. But in all honesty, I just don't understand atheists. I don't know how you can't look around this world and see God in everything. I don't know how you could imagine that everything that is came to be by accident. Please, somebody explain to me how that could be possible.
So that's been following me around all day. It's a part of my greater transformation and growth Jewishly as of late. I find myself wanting to know more/do more/learn more/experience more, but not necessarily knowing exactly how I want to go about doing these things. What I am certain of is that I'm frustrated and disenchanted with a lot of Reform Judaism. At the same time, I find it hard to imagine being anything other than a Reform Jew. I've had this talk with plenty of people, and I know that I'm not the only one thirsty for more.
What disturbs me is that it's come to the point where I feel more spiritual, more Jewish, and like I can be a better Jew when I'm with a group of people from Kesher (like last weekend in Miami), or with a group of Conservative/Orthodox Jews, than when I'm at my own shul (where I've been a member for almost 14 years). It shouldn't be this way.
Is this just displaced teenage angst surfacing five years later in Jewish form?
Do I dare ask the cliche existential question: Am I the only one? Cause I know that I'm not.
I know that I will change, and that I will find what works for me, and that I will grow as a result of all this. I just wish I didn't have to be angry at what's been an integral part of me for 13 years.
That being said, I did have a lovely and restful Shabbat. To top it off, I'm going to bed!
She said something along the lines of.... "It's very hard for me to think of God and how God exists in this world, but it's even harder for me to think of a world where God doesn't exist."
I think that I've always believed in God. I don't really remember a time where I didn't. But at that point this morning, I had this connection with my understanding of God that I've never really had before. I realized how scary it is for me to imagine a world where God doesn't exist and where God doesn't play an integral role in existence. I just can't wrap my mind around it. As difficult as it is for me to wrap my mind around the very idea of God, it's terrifying for me to even try to wrap my mind around the notion of a Godless world.
Of course I respect all people's approaches to God... everybody needs to come to the point where they meet what works for them. But in all honesty, I just don't understand atheists. I don't know how you can't look around this world and see God in everything. I don't know how you could imagine that everything that is came to be by accident. Please, somebody explain to me how that could be possible.
So that's been following me around all day. It's a part of my greater transformation and growth Jewishly as of late. I find myself wanting to know more/do more/learn more/experience more, but not necessarily knowing exactly how I want to go about doing these things. What I am certain of is that I'm frustrated and disenchanted with a lot of Reform Judaism. At the same time, I find it hard to imagine being anything other than a Reform Jew. I've had this talk with plenty of people, and I know that I'm not the only one thirsty for more.
What disturbs me is that it's come to the point where I feel more spiritual, more Jewish, and like I can be a better Jew when I'm with a group of people from Kesher (like last weekend in Miami), or with a group of Conservative/Orthodox Jews, than when I'm at my own shul (where I've been a member for almost 14 years). It shouldn't be this way.
Is this just displaced teenage angst surfacing five years later in Jewish form?
Do I dare ask the cliche existential question: Am I the only one? Cause I know that I'm not.
I know that I will change, and that I will find what works for me, and that I will grow as a result of all this. I just wish I didn't have to be angry at what's been an integral part of me for 13 years.
That being said, I did have a lovely and restful Shabbat. To top it off, I'm going to bed!
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Continuing my thievery of cool quotes from people's AOL profiles...
A kid goes to his dad and asks, "Dad, what are politics?"
His dad replies, " Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family so I am capitalism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is government. The government is the provider for the people so you are the people. Your baby brother will be the future, and the nanny is the working class. Now think about that."
So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in his diaper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom asleep in the bed. He didn't want to wake her, so he went to the nanny. The door was locked. He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed with the nanny.
The next morning, he went to his dad and said, "Dad I know what you mean now...
While capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on."
His dad replies, " Put it this way; I am the breadwinner of the family so I am capitalism. Your mom is the owner of the money so she is government. The government is the provider for the people so you are the people. Your baby brother will be the future, and the nanny is the working class. Now think about that."
So he went to bed. He was woken by his brother. The baby had pooped in his diaper. He went to tell his parents, but he only found his mom asleep in the bed. He didn't want to wake her, so he went to the nanny. The door was locked. He checked through a hole and saw the dad in bed with the nanny.
The next morning, he went to his dad and said, "Dad I know what you mean now...
While capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on."
My new Guitar!!!
Simon & Patrick Showcase Series
Rosewood with cutaway and a B-Band 4.2 pickup
Gloss finish
My new baby!!!
Sun = healthy, Snow = sick
I was perfectly healthy in Miami on the beach. Now I'm home and have come down with the flu. Unrelated coincidence, or a conspiracy by the American government to trick me into thinking warmer weather will keep me healthier? I vote American consiparcy. Call it Flu-gate.
Miami was incredible, the Zionist leadership conference provided me with a lot of great networking opportunities and the chance to hear some really inspiring speakers. But... the greatest thing that the conference gave me was...
A free trip to Israel!!!
Oh yes, that's right, my group won an advertising competition and we were all awarded gift certificates to use towards extended trips in Israel. I'm looking at doing a 5 month ulpan on Kibbutz Tzuba or possibly doing 2 1/2 months of Gadna and outdoor adventuring. It's really exciting to know that I'll be able to be back in Israel soon! I just feel bad that people I was with from Kesher didn't also win... we all got stuck in other groups. Oh well, it looks like they might be taking us to Israel anyways on a seperate training trip, so I hope that works out well.
In other news, shit's going down at the theatre. There seems to be a great lacking in the understanding and reasonability departments. People bitch about unnecessary things, and if there is reason to be upset about things, people express their concern in the most inappropriate ways. I'm tired of people complaining about things behind other people's backs. I'm tired of people not having either the decency or the guts to say things directly to people's faces. And I'm tired of the extreme lack of understanding. Just because people aren't going to be able to do something exactly the way you want it at the exact time you want it is no reason to challenege or question someone's dedication or committment.
Obviously I'm speaking personally here, but it's not only me - there are a number of people who have expressed the same sentiments and it's time that something is done. Maybe we need a revolution or a coup d'etat or... well I don't know. Maybe we can just reenact Les Mis and call it even. Or maybe people can simply be more understanding of each other. That would be nice.
In happier news, I'm off to L.A in a couple of weeks to staff NFTY convention. It'll be nice to see the beach and palm trees again!
That's all for now. I'm going to take a hot shower and then sweat all night long. Damn American conspirators.
Miami was incredible, the Zionist leadership conference provided me with a lot of great networking opportunities and the chance to hear some really inspiring speakers. But... the greatest thing that the conference gave me was...
A free trip to Israel!!!
Oh yes, that's right, my group won an advertising competition and we were all awarded gift certificates to use towards extended trips in Israel. I'm looking at doing a 5 month ulpan on Kibbutz Tzuba or possibly doing 2 1/2 months of Gadna and outdoor adventuring. It's really exciting to know that I'll be able to be back in Israel soon! I just feel bad that people I was with from Kesher didn't also win... we all got stuck in other groups. Oh well, it looks like they might be taking us to Israel anyways on a seperate training trip, so I hope that works out well.
In other news, shit's going down at the theatre. There seems to be a great lacking in the understanding and reasonability departments. People bitch about unnecessary things, and if there is reason to be upset about things, people express their concern in the most inappropriate ways. I'm tired of people complaining about things behind other people's backs. I'm tired of people not having either the decency or the guts to say things directly to people's faces. And I'm tired of the extreme lack of understanding. Just because people aren't going to be able to do something exactly the way you want it at the exact time you want it is no reason to challenege or question someone's dedication or committment.
Obviously I'm speaking personally here, but it's not only me - there are a number of people who have expressed the same sentiments and it's time that something is done. Maybe we need a revolution or a coup d'etat or... well I don't know. Maybe we can just reenact Les Mis and call it even. Or maybe people can simply be more understanding of each other. That would be nice.
In happier news, I'm off to L.A in a couple of weeks to staff NFTY convention. It'll be nice to see the beach and palm trees again!
That's all for now. I'm going to take a hot shower and then sweat all night long. Damn American conspirators.
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Chick flick or philosophical life ponderings?
I just watched Garden State. I liked it. A lot. Great movie. Natalie Portman is gorgeous, but that's not the only reason the movie is good.
The movie essentially follows Zach Braff (of Scrubs fame) as he returns to the Garden State (that's New Jersey for those Canadians who don't fly in to Newark every summer for camp) for his mother's funeral. Sad sad sad. His life ends up being changed when he meets Sam (played by Portman)
Okay, that's enough exposition.
The film definately has a lot of hidden and not so hidden perspectives on life, life choices, and life altering choices. So much of it resonated with me and my experience growing up in Thornhill - or Jewville as it is affectionatly known. But there's this thing tugging at me.... was it just a chick flick with good writing?
I don't think so. I hope not. Because when movies resonate philosophically with me, I love it. It gives me faith that there are true geniuses in the world, people who can tap into the human experience and project it in a media that's accesible by the masses.
That's what music is. Music taps into realms of the human psyche, translates the unintelligible nature of humanity, and projects it out into the world in an intelligble manner. As Nietzsche so eloquently put it: "Without music, life would be pointless"
So I'll sleep on it, dream of the beautiful Natalie Portman, and hopefully wake up not thinking I spent my evening watching a chick flick.
The movie essentially follows Zach Braff (of Scrubs fame) as he returns to the Garden State (that's New Jersey for those Canadians who don't fly in to Newark every summer for camp) for his mother's funeral. Sad sad sad. His life ends up being changed when he meets Sam (played by Portman)
Okay, that's enough exposition.
The film definately has a lot of hidden and not so hidden perspectives on life, life choices, and life altering choices. So much of it resonated with me and my experience growing up in Thornhill - or Jewville as it is affectionatly known. But there's this thing tugging at me.... was it just a chick flick with good writing?
I don't think so. I hope not. Because when movies resonate philosophically with me, I love it. It gives me faith that there are true geniuses in the world, people who can tap into the human experience and project it in a media that's accesible by the masses.
That's what music is. Music taps into realms of the human psyche, translates the unintelligible nature of humanity, and projects it out into the world in an intelligble manner. As Nietzsche so eloquently put it: "Without music, life would be pointless"
So I'll sleep on it, dream of the beautiful Natalie Portman, and hopefully wake up not thinking I spent my evening watching a chick flick.
Thursday, January 06, 2005
People I've run into in Israel
Israel is the coolest, you run into people in the most unexpected places and it's so fantastic. Here's a running tally of people that I've seen (all but one were completely unaranged and random!)
- Wes Peskin
- Rachel Petroff
- Adam Rosenwasser
- Seth Winberg
- David Ladon's brother
- David Singer
- Noah Fabricant
- Emma Gottlieb
- Isaac Saposnik
- Matt Rogers
- Jason Fenster
- Mike Fuld
- Mike Mason
- Noam Katz
- Two cute Israei girls from Kutz a few summers back.
- A ton of people who go to Hebrew U and know people I do back at York
So much fun.
Shalom M'Yisrael!
It's day 11 here in Israel, and the third day after the official end of the Hillel Pluralism trip. The details of the Pluralism mission are far too many to list right now, but I'll be sure to get into them at some later point. After the trip ended on Tuesday night, those of us who were staying on together headed over to stay at Beit Shmuel at Hebrew Union College in Jerusalem; we've been here since. Tuesday night I promptly fell asleep and stayed in a blissful state of rest for 11 hours. It was more sleep than I think I got on the whole trip.
Wednesday morning, we awoke to pouring rain, but nonetheless bounded out of bed, went down to breakfast, then headed out for a (wet) day on Rechov Ben Yehuda. Wandering around the shops was fun in the rain, and it was cool meeting all the kids from Birthright who are the first group to be allowed back on Ben Yehuda since the start of the Matzav.
Last night, we went out for dinner at Burger's Bar, which is by far the most amazing burger joint in the country. We went to the one on Emek Refayim our first night here, so it was fun to hit up the one on Ben Yehuda last night. After a great dinner, we headed out to a Hookah bar in the area and chilled for the rest of the night. It was Kol Tov.
This morning, Jessica, Shuli and I woke up early to grab breakfast and then head out to PARDES (the pluralistic Institute of Jewish Studies that we spent a lot of time at on the trip) for a day of studying. In the morning, I attended a Chumash class that was studying Lech Lecha this day. The intent of the teachers and students truly is awe-inspiring. They study the text so closely that they're only able to get through a few p'sukim (verses) each day. We got through four this morning - a high point for the class!
After the morning studying, we davened Mincha then had a delicious group lunch where a fantastic Jewish storyteller was speaking and telling stories. She was great. We ended our trip to PARDES by meeting with one of the adminstrators who answered some questions for us and basically just talked about what the institute has to offer. I am 99% sure that I'll be applying to spend a year there before I go to HUC. It will definately provide me with a stronger background in Talmud, Halachah, and Chumash. And Hebrew, of course!
For now, I plan on taking a nap, then later tonight we're going to the Kotel Tunnels. After that it will be chilling out in Jerusalem no doubt. For Erev Shabbat, a few of us plan on going to the Kotel, then to Kol Haneshama for T'fillah. Shabbat morning we'll stay at HUC for services. Once Shabbat is out, we'll be heading out to Haifa for the weekend, with a day trip to Tzfat in the works for Sunday.
Monday we'll probably spend in Tel Aviv, then Monday night we're off to the airport. I'd have to be up at 4:30 to get to the airport if we stayed in Tel Aviv, so a few of us are going the night before with the people who are leaving that night. We'll just crash on the floor somewhere and be able to save paying for a night in a hostel.
That's the plan for now, I'll be sure to keep this updated when I can. And stay tuned for pictures and highlites from the rest of the trip!
L'hitraot!
Monday, December 27, 2004
Achshav, Achsvah, B'eretz Yisrael!!!
In eight hours, I'll be off to the airport to catch my flight to NYC, en route to ISRAEL. As ususal, I'm not getting any sleep tonight. Needless to say I'm somewhat stoked. Woot.
Did I just say stoked? Wow. Hello 1980's L.A. Surfer-dude.
I find myself more excited, anticipatory, dreaming, CAN'T WAIT than last time. I guess now I know what to expect out of the amazing country that is Israel, and yet I can't wait to discover more about Israel that I never knew before. It is sure to be an experience like no other.
In NYC, Dave and I are going to go be Jewish and get dinner at the Carnegie Deli. Could we BE any more touristy? After I've spent the past four summers in New York, you'd think I could be a little more constructive. Guess not :-)
"Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli?
Jesse from Canada
and Dave Vaisberg (not Shelley)" - that's supposed to rhyme with Arthur Fonzarelli. Does it? Oh well.
So, while I'm off in the mother land, if you love me feel free to give me a ring a ding. I'll be carrying a cell with me all around the country. If you so choose to call and make me feel special, you can do it at the number below:
You'll probably hear some Hebrew message like this: "Bruchim Haba'im L'Bezek. Welcome to Bezek. " Then it will connect to me.
Righto, so I'm off to finish packing - it's 3 am the day I'm leaving and as per usual, I'm not quite finished. I'll be posting pics and journal entries from Israel when I return. Until then,
Libi B'mizrach
My heart is in the East
Did I just say stoked? Wow. Hello 1980's L.A. Surfer-dude.
I find myself more excited, anticipatory, dreaming, CAN'T WAIT than last time. I guess now I know what to expect out of the amazing country that is Israel, and yet I can't wait to discover more about Israel that I never knew before. It is sure to be an experience like no other.
In NYC, Dave and I are going to go be Jewish and get dinner at the Carnegie Deli. Could we BE any more touristy? After I've spent the past four summers in New York, you'd think I could be a little more constructive. Guess not :-)
"Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli?
Jesse from Canada
and Dave Vaisberg (not Shelley)" - that's supposed to rhyme with Arthur Fonzarelli. Does it? Oh well.
So, while I'm off in the mother land, if you love me feel free to give me a ring a ding. I'll be carrying a cell with me all around the country. If you so choose to call and make me feel special, you can do it at the number below:
011-972-57-758-6507
You'll probably hear some Hebrew message like this: "Bruchim Haba'im L'Bezek. Welcome to Bezek. " Then it will connect to me.
Righto, so I'm off to finish packing - it's 3 am the day I'm leaving and as per usual, I'm not quite finished. I'll be posting pics and journal entries from Israel when I return. Until then,
Libi B'mizrach
My heart is in the East
Friday, December 17, 2004
Alright, Let's Get It On!
Jew-Ladies, and Gentile-men! Since the dawn of man, nay, since the dawn of TIME (magazine), December has pitted America's two greatest holidays against one another. In one corner stands Christmas (or X-mas for short), and in the other stands Chanukkah (or Hanukkah for short). Each year the debate is made, but a victor has never been crowned. That is why today, on this very webular site, I have been chosen as a non-biased jewish arbiter (or judge for short) to decide once and for all which Holiday is the the GREATEST OF ALL TIME!
DURATION:
Chanukkah: By definition, Chanukkah is 8 times longer than Christmas.
That's an extra WEEK of presents, dreidels, Jews, and gifts, and presents.
Christmas: 1 day. How fucking cute. Hey remember Christmas when you were 12? You should, it was only one day long. More like one day SHORT! Stick to praying, Christianity... Jesus Christ. LITERRRLLALAY!
POINT: CHANUKKAH (1-0)
SONGS:
Chanukkah: Umm... we got the one about the Dreidel... oh and a song or two about Judah the Maccabee. Sisqo's the Thong Song makes veiled references to the Menorah (Baby make your booty go Dunuh Dunuh.) But other than that, not much.
Christmas: I know it’s been said, many times many ways, but these songs (jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell) ROCK! Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, N-Sync! Everybody wants to sing these timeless classics! I know that I can't eat my morning chestnuts roasted on an open fire without thinking of that song about a partridge in a pear tree! On the first day of Christmas my true love would give me a CD! NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL RELIGION Vol. 12!
Point: CHRISTMAS! (1-1)
FOOD:
Chanukkah: You gotta love a holiday whose food requirement is anything fried in Oil. Potato Pancakes, Donuts, Donut Pancakes, Potato Donuts, Potancake Donut Cakes. Docake Potatancake Oil Cakes, Dopancato Pakes, Christian Babies. You name it, we eat it!! As long as you name "Dopancato Pakes."
Christmas: I have NO idea what eggs are, and I sure as hell have no idea what nog is. I make it a point not to drink anything thick and yellow. What's that? Egg Nog is a drink, not a food? Ha ha ha, groveling will earn you no pity points Christmas....
Point: CHANUKKAH (2-1)
MOVIES:
Chanukkah: Lets see, there's 8 Crazy Nights... Um... Does Schindler's List count?
Christmas: Home Alone 1, shame on you. Home Alone 2? Shame on me.
Point: CHRISTMAS (2-2)
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO:
Chanukkah: Jesus celebrated Chanukkah. He was pretty good at dreidel but his potato pancakes were a little dry. You shoulda seen the expression on his face when his mother ate his latkes! LOL!
Christmas: Jesus didn't even know about Christmas when he was alive. Unless you think he's alive in all of us today, in which case you're wrong, he's not.
Honestly, he isn't.
POINT: CHANUKKAH (3-2)
SONGS:
Chanukkah: Yah I still got nothin.
Christmas: STILL enjoying them!
POINT: CHRISTMAS (3-3)
IT’S A DRAW! Or as I like to call it: A Drwanzaa! Thats right, there is a third party candidate we didn’t take into account and that’s Kwanzaa.
Kwanzaa was started at UCLA in 1961 by the military to help them communicate electronically. Today over 3 billion people around the world are online and chatting in different Kwanzaa rooms and using Kwanzaa to buy their gifts online. Consider yourself smarter. Because you can't pronounce EDUCATION, without the JEW!
DURATION:
Chanukkah: By definition, Chanukkah is 8 times longer than Christmas.
That's an extra WEEK of presents, dreidels, Jews, and gifts, and presents.
Christmas: 1 day. How fucking cute. Hey remember Christmas when you were 12? You should, it was only one day long. More like one day SHORT! Stick to praying, Christianity... Jesus Christ. LITERRRLLALAY!
POINT: CHANUKKAH (1-0)
SONGS:
Chanukkah: Umm... we got the one about the Dreidel... oh and a song or two about Judah the Maccabee. Sisqo's the Thong Song makes veiled references to the Menorah (Baby make your booty go Dunuh Dunuh.) But other than that, not much.
Christmas: I know it’s been said, many times many ways, but these songs (jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell) ROCK! Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, N-Sync! Everybody wants to sing these timeless classics! I know that I can't eat my morning chestnuts roasted on an open fire without thinking of that song about a partridge in a pear tree! On the first day of Christmas my true love would give me a CD! NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL RELIGION Vol. 12!
Point: CHRISTMAS! (1-1)
FOOD:
Chanukkah: You gotta love a holiday whose food requirement is anything fried in Oil. Potato Pancakes, Donuts, Donut Pancakes, Potato Donuts, Potancake Donut Cakes. Docake Potatancake Oil Cakes, Dopancato Pakes, Christian Babies. You name it, we eat it!! As long as you name "Dopancato Pakes."
Christmas: I have NO idea what eggs are, and I sure as hell have no idea what nog is. I make it a point not to drink anything thick and yellow. What's that? Egg Nog is a drink, not a food? Ha ha ha, groveling will earn you no pity points Christmas....
Point: CHANUKKAH (2-1)
MOVIES:
Chanukkah: Lets see, there's 8 Crazy Nights... Um... Does Schindler's List count?
Christmas: Home Alone 1, shame on you. Home Alone 2? Shame on me.
Point: CHRISTMAS (2-2)
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO:
Chanukkah: Jesus celebrated Chanukkah. He was pretty good at dreidel but his potato pancakes were a little dry. You shoulda seen the expression on his face when his mother ate his latkes! LOL!
Christmas: Jesus didn't even know about Christmas when he was alive. Unless you think he's alive in all of us today, in which case you're wrong, he's not.
Honestly, he isn't.
POINT: CHANUKKAH (3-2)
SONGS:
Chanukkah: Yah I still got nothin.
Christmas: STILL enjoying them!
POINT: CHRISTMAS (3-3)
IT’S A DRAW! Or as I like to call it: A Drwanzaa! Thats right, there is a third party candidate we didn’t take into account and that’s Kwanzaa.
Kwanzaa was started at UCLA in 1961 by the military to help them communicate electronically. Today over 3 billion people around the world are online and chatting in different Kwanzaa rooms and using Kwanzaa to buy their gifts online. Consider yourself smarter. Because you can't pronounce EDUCATION, without the JEW!
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Do this... post it as a comment
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence as a comment in my journal. Then do the same in your journal (post these instructions, too)
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.
Here's mine:
But if the Truth was known
You ain't here nohow
And neither am I
Nor that cow and sow
~From Kerouac's "Poems All Sizes"
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence as a comment in my journal. Then do the same in your journal (post these instructions, too)
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.
Here's mine:
But if the Truth was known
You ain't here nohow
And neither am I
Nor that cow and sow
~From Kerouac's "Poems All Sizes"
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
I've discovered the meaning of life
Yes, it's true! I have indeed discovered the meaning of existence, of life, and of all there is. Here goes:
When you're writing a paper and at first you had no clue what to write about, or where to go, or what your thesis is is, and then... all of a sudden... out of the blue it strikes you, and you understand... and then you write furiously for three hours. That's the meaning of life.
When you're talking with an upset friend and at first you're just saying things to console them, but then you listen to what they say and you truly start to understand their sorrows, and that makes you sad too. That's the meaning of life.
When you're at the gym working out, and you're sweating and tired and you feel like you can't go on anymore and then... BOOM... you get your second wind. That's the meaning of life.
When you watch your dog playing with her toy, and you stare in awe at the simplicity of being a dog and wonder what it's like to be a dog with no worries. And then your dog looks up at you, staring back - wondering what it's like to be human and able to reach the jar of dog biscuits. That's the meaning of life.
When you're standing in the middle of a forest and you look around, and the sunlight is streaming from everywhere and nowhere at the same time - you just can't pinpoint where it's coming from. That's the meaning of life.
When you're sitting in one class and what your prof is saying ties in completely with what you're learning in another class, and everything you've ever learned at school since you were five all of a sudden makes sense. That's the meaning of life.
When you're blogstalking people and you read what they have to say and you realize that although there's 6 billion people on this planet, a whole lot of them believe in the same things you do and understand life in the same way you do. That's the meaning of life.
What else is the meaning of life?
When you're writing a paper and at first you had no clue what to write about, or where to go, or what your thesis is is, and then... all of a sudden... out of the blue it strikes you, and you understand... and then you write furiously for three hours. That's the meaning of life.
When you're talking with an upset friend and at first you're just saying things to console them, but then you listen to what they say and you truly start to understand their sorrows, and that makes you sad too. That's the meaning of life.
When you're at the gym working out, and you're sweating and tired and you feel like you can't go on anymore and then... BOOM... you get your second wind. That's the meaning of life.
When you watch your dog playing with her toy, and you stare in awe at the simplicity of being a dog and wonder what it's like to be a dog with no worries. And then your dog looks up at you, staring back - wondering what it's like to be human and able to reach the jar of dog biscuits. That's the meaning of life.
When you're standing in the middle of a forest and you look around, and the sunlight is streaming from everywhere and nowhere at the same time - you just can't pinpoint where it's coming from. That's the meaning of life.
When you're sitting in one class and what your prof is saying ties in completely with what you're learning in another class, and everything you've ever learned at school since you were five all of a sudden makes sense. That's the meaning of life.
When you're blogstalking people and you read what they have to say and you realize that although there's 6 billion people on this planet, a whole lot of them believe in the same things you do and understand life in the same way you do. That's the meaning of life.
What else is the meaning of life?
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Sunday, December 12, 2004
fuck the man
"I never spent a single day in retail, telling people what they want to hear, telling people anything to make a sale"
~Barenaked Ladies
I wish this were the case for me. I absolutely hate working in retail. I don't enjoy capitalism, I don't enjoy the rich snobby brats who shop at my store, I don't enjoy the rich snobby brats that I work with. I hate that all people care about is that you work when they tell you to.
As of next week, I'll have only worked two shifts in the past month. While I enjoy the freedom, I think they're not giving me shifts in an attempt to get me to quit. Oh, I play the Disneyworld game where I'm all smiles while working, but I think they're on to me... they know I'm only in it so I can pay off my bills and then I'm outa there.
For these people I work with, it's like their whole lives revolve around selling things. The girls I work with spend half of their pay cheques right away on clothes EVERY week. Damn people, get a grip on reality and start realizing that there's more to life than posessions. Sheesh.
I want to move to a Kibbutz.
~Barenaked Ladies
I wish this were the case for me. I absolutely hate working in retail. I don't enjoy capitalism, I don't enjoy the rich snobby brats who shop at my store, I don't enjoy the rich snobby brats that I work with. I hate that all people care about is that you work when they tell you to.
As of next week, I'll have only worked two shifts in the past month. While I enjoy the freedom, I think they're not giving me shifts in an attempt to get me to quit. Oh, I play the Disneyworld game where I'm all smiles while working, but I think they're on to me... they know I'm only in it so I can pay off my bills and then I'm outa there.
For these people I work with, it's like their whole lives revolve around selling things. The girls I work with spend half of their pay cheques right away on clothes EVERY week. Damn people, get a grip on reality and start realizing that there's more to life than posessions. Sheesh.
I want to move to a Kibbutz.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
I'm published in the Toronto Star!!!
Hurray! Granted, it's only a letter to the editor, but let's hear it for democracy, freedom of speech, and my subtle humour througout the piece. The link to the article is below, along with my original, unedited version. At the end of the letter is a link to the original article to which I responded.
Hanumas... what a dumb name. It sounds more like a terrorist organization than a holiday.
Keep Significance of Holidays
Growing trend to combine Hanukkah and Christmas can have detrimental effects
Hanumas... what a dumb name. It sounds more like a terrorist organization than a holiday.
Keep Significance of Holidays
Growing trend to combine Hanukkah and Christmas can have detrimental effects
Jennifer Bain reports on the growing trend in Canada of interfaith families combining Channukah and Christmas into a hybrid mishmash. While this may be a perfectly logical notion for some, it is important to note that there are detrimental effects of doing so. Ask my professor’s daughter who was taught to believe in the “Moses Claus” as a child, and now does not know what to believe in.
Channukah is called so for a reason - it is the Hebrew word for rededication. Channukah is the time when Jews celebrate and remember the rededication of the ancient holy Temple after its horrific destruction. To alter the word to "Chrismukkah," or "Hanumas," lessens the significance of the holiday. It erases the true meaning of the word, and presents a distorted version of the holiday.
While there is much that non-Jews can learn by celebrating Channukah with Jewish friends and family, and vice-versa regarding Christmas, it is of paramount importance to remember that Channukah is a Jewish holiday and Christmas is a Christian holiday. To combine them is to misrepresent the true meaning of each holiday.
To truly increase tolerance and knowledge of dual cultural heritages, interfaith families should learn about each holiday individually and uniquely, rather than attempting to assimilate them into an entirely new celebration which is no longer grounded in its true roots. This is especially true for interfaith families with children – let them be taught about each religion’s traditions rather than a new hodgepodge. Doing so will only breed a generation of children who believe in the Moses-Claus who comes down the chimney to light the Channukiah and eats the Latkes left on the table.
Jesse Paikin
Thornhill, Ontario
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