Achshav, Achsvah, B'eretz Yisrael!!!

In eight hours, I'll be off to the airport to catch my flight to NYC, en route to ISRAEL. As ususal, I'm not getting any sleep tonight. Needless to say I'm somewhat stoked. Woot.

Did I just say stoked? Wow. Hello 1980's L.A. Surfer-dude.

I find myself more excited, anticipatory, dreaming, CAN'T WAIT than last time. I guess now I know what to expect out of the amazing country that is Israel, and yet I can't wait to discover more about Israel that I never knew before. It is sure to be an experience like no other.

In NYC, Dave and I are going to go be Jewish and get dinner at the Carnegie Deli. Could we BE any more touristy? After I've spent the past four summers in New York, you'd think I could be a little more constructive. Guess not :-)

"Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli?
Jesse from Canada
and Dave Vaisberg (not Shelley)" - that's supposed to rhyme with Arthur Fonzarelli. Does it? Oh well.

So, while I'm off in the mother land, if you love me feel free to give me a ring a ding. I'll be carrying a cell with me all around the country. If you so choose to call and make me feel special, you can do it at the number below:

011-972-57-758-6507

You'll probably hear some Hebrew message like this: "Bruchim Haba'im L'Bezek. Welcome to Bezek. " Then it will connect to me.

Righto, so I'm off to finish packing - it's 3 am the day I'm leaving and as per usual, I'm not quite finished. I'll be posting pics and journal entries from Israel when I return. Until then,

Libi B'mizrach
My heart is in the East

Alright, Let's Get It On!

Jew-Ladies, and Gentile-men! Since the dawn of man, nay, since the dawn of TIME (magazine), December has pitted America's two greatest holidays against one another. In one corner stands Christmas (or X-mas for short), and in the other stands Chanukkah (or Hanukkah for short). Each year the debate is made, but a victor has never been crowned. That is why today, on this very webular site, I have been chosen as a non-biased jewish arbiter (or judge for short) to decide once and for all which Holiday is the the GREATEST OF ALL TIME!

DURATION:

Chanukkah: By definition, Chanukkah is 8 times longer than Christmas.
That's an extra WEEK of presents, dreidels, Jews, and gifts, and presents.
Christmas: 1 day. How fucking cute. Hey remember Christmas when you were 12? You should, it was only one day long. More like one day SHORT! Stick to praying, Christianity... Jesus Christ. LITERRRLLALAY!

POINT: CHANUKKAH (1-0)

SONGS:

Chanukkah: Umm... we got the one about the Dreidel... oh and a song or two about Judah the Maccabee. Sisqo's the Thong Song makes veiled references to the Menorah (Baby make your booty go Dunuh Dunuh.) But other than that, not much.
Christmas: I know it’s been said, many times many ways, but these songs (jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell) ROCK! Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, N-Sync! Everybody wants to sing these timeless classics! I know that I can't eat my morning chestnuts roasted on an open fire without thinking of that song about a partridge in a pear tree! On the first day of Christmas my true love would give me a CD! NOW THAT’S WHAT I CALL RELIGION Vol. 12!

Point: CHRISTMAS! (1-1)

FOOD:

Chanukkah: You gotta love a holiday whose food requirement is anything fried in Oil. Potato Pancakes, Donuts, Donut Pancakes, Potato Donuts, Potancake Donut Cakes. Docake Potatancake Oil Cakes, Dopancato Pakes, Christian Babies. You name it, we eat it!! As long as you name "Dopancato Pakes."
Christmas: I have NO idea what eggs are, and I sure as hell have no idea what nog is. I make it a point not to drink anything thick and yellow. What's that? Egg Nog is a drink, not a food? Ha ha ha, groveling will earn you no pity points Christmas....

Point: CHANUKKAH (2-1)

MOVIES:

Chanukkah: Lets see, there's 8 Crazy Nights... Um... Does Schindler's List count?
Christmas: Home Alone 1, shame on you. Home Alone 2? Shame on me.

Point: CHRISTMAS (2-2)

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO:

Chanukkah: Jesus celebrated Chanukkah. He was pretty good at dreidel but his potato pancakes were a little dry. You shoulda seen the expression on his face when his mother ate his latkes! LOL!
Christmas: Jesus didn't even know about Christmas when he was alive. Unless you think he's alive in all of us today, in which case you're wrong, he's not.

Honestly, he isn't.

POINT: CHANUKKAH (3-2)

SONGS:

Chanukkah: Yah I still got nothin.
Christmas: STILL enjoying them!

POINT: CHRISTMAS (3-3)

IT’S A DRAW! Or as I like to call it: A Drwanzaa! Thats right, there is a third party candidate we didn’t take into account and that’s Kwanzaa.

Kwanzaa was started at UCLA in 1961 by the military to help them communicate electronically. Today over 3 billion people around the world are online and chatting in different Kwanzaa rooms and using Kwanzaa to buy their gifts online. Consider yourself smarter. Because you can't pronounce EDUCATION, without the JEW!

Do this... post it as a comment

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence as a comment in my journal. Then do the same in your journal (post these instructions, too)
5. Don't search around and look for the "coolest" book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

Here's mine:

But if the Truth was known
You ain't here nohow
And neither am I
Nor that cow and sow

~From Kerouac's "Poems All Sizes"

I've discovered the meaning of life

Yes, it's true! I have indeed discovered the meaning of existence, of life, and of all there is. Here goes:

When you're writing a paper and at first you had no clue what to write about, or where to go, or what your thesis is is, and then... all of a sudden... out of the blue it strikes you, and you understand... and then you write furiously for three hours. That's the meaning of life.

When you're talking with an upset friend and at first you're just saying things to console them, but then you listen to what they say and you truly start to understand their sorrows, and that makes you sad too. That's the meaning of life.

When you're at the gym working out, and you're sweating and tired and you feel like you can't go on anymore and then... BOOM... you get your second wind. That's the meaning of life.

When you watch your dog playing with her toy, and you stare in awe at the simplicity of being a dog and wonder what it's like to be a dog with no worries. And then your dog looks up at you, staring back - wondering what it's like to be human and able to reach the jar of dog biscuits. That's the meaning of life.

When you're standing in the middle of a forest and you look around, and the sunlight is streaming from everywhere and nowhere at the same time - you just can't pinpoint where it's coming from. That's the meaning of life.

When you're sitting in one class and what your prof is saying ties in completely with what you're learning in another class, and everything you've ever learned at school since you were five all of a sudden makes sense. That's the meaning of life.

When you're blogstalking people and you read what they have to say and you realize that although there's 6 billion people on this planet, a whole lot of them believe in the same things you do and understand life in the same way you do. That's the meaning of life.


What else is the meaning of life?

Countdown to Israel...

13 Days. I'm getting antsy!

fuck the man

"I never spent a single day in retail, telling people what they want to hear, telling people anything to make a sale"
~Barenaked Ladies

I wish this were the case for me. I absolutely hate working in retail. I don't enjoy capitalism, I don't enjoy the rich snobby brats who shop at my store, I don't enjoy the rich snobby brats that I work with. I hate that all people care about is that you work when they tell you to.

As of next week, I'll have only worked two shifts in the past month. While I enjoy the freedom, I think they're not giving me shifts in an attempt to get me to quit. Oh, I play the Disneyworld game where I'm all smiles while working, but I think they're on to me... they know I'm only in it so I can pay off my bills and then I'm outa there.

For these people I work with, it's like their whole lives revolve around selling things. The girls I work with spend half of their pay cheques right away on clothes EVERY week. Damn people, get a grip on reality and start realizing that there's more to life than posessions. Sheesh.

I want to move to a Kibbutz.

I'm published in the Toronto Star!!!

Hurray! Granted, it's only a letter to the editor, but let's hear it for democracy, freedom of speech, and my subtle humour througout the piece. The link to the article is below, along with my original, unedited version. At the end of the letter is a link to the original article to which I responded.

Hanumas... what a dumb name. It sounds more like a terrorist organization than a holiday.

Keep Significance of Holidays
Growing trend to combine Hanukkah and Christmas can have detrimental effects

Jennifer Bain reports on the growing trend in Canada of interfaith families combining Channukah and Christmas into a hybrid mishmash. While this may be a perfectly logical notion for some, it is important to note that there are detrimental effects of doing so. Ask my professor’s daughter who was taught to believe in the “Moses Claus” as a child, and now does not know what to believe in.

Channukah is called so for a reason - it is the Hebrew word for rededication. Channukah is the time when Jews celebrate and remember the rededication of the ancient holy Temple after its horrific destruction. To alter the word to "Chrismukkah," or "Hanumas," lessens the significance of the holiday. It erases the true meaning of the word, and presents a distorted version of the holiday.

While there is much that non-Jews can learn by celebrating Channukah with Jewish friends and family, and vice-versa regarding Christmas, it is of paramount importance to remember that Channukah is a Jewish holiday and Christmas is a Christian holiday. To combine them is to misrepresent the true meaning of each holiday.

To truly increase tolerance and knowledge of dual cultural heritages, interfaith families should learn about each holiday individually and uniquely, rather than attempting to assimilate them into an entirely new celebration which is no longer grounded in its true roots. This is especially true for interfaith families with children – let them be taught about each religion’s traditions rather than a new hodgepodge. Doing so will only breed a generation of children who believe in the Moses-Claus who comes down the chimney to light the Channukiah and eats the Latkes left on the table.

Jesse Paikin
Thornhill, Ontario

Here's the original article:
MERRY MISHMASHED HOLIDAY

Edited poetry - February 14, 2002

Sharp notes
Piercing the thick air
no set
time
no set
rythym
smooth
underneath,
carry on, flow through me

Stream of conscious writing - April 30, 2002

Cafeteria Study

Punk music. People staring. I'm supposed to be invisible.

She leans against the grate railing, sitting on the stairs, sipping her Coca-Cola, wearing a shirt with "skate boarding is not a crime" emblazoned across the front.

A girl, umbrella in hand, skips over the first two steps on her way upstairs. Blue puffy vest, curly brown hair with blonde streaks. A half smile on her face.

White shirt, black tie, glasses and curly matted hair, he runs down the stairs. "wuzzle wuzzle"

Jello, cards, and a spoon hanging out of her mouth.
"I'm smarter than you"
Two boy walk by.
"Go fish?"
My vision is blocked.
"How's it going Jesse?"
I'm supposed to be invisible.
"Good. I'm eavesdropping on people."
"Sounds like fun. Keep it up."
"Go fish."
"Shutup, I'm smarter than you."
"Sixes?"
"Go fish."
"Tens?"
"Go fish."
"Again!"
Spoon in mouth reaches for her Jello, then changes her mind, turning to the boy next to her. Spoon in mouth has lost the card game.

Edited poetry - February 26, 2002

It spurted out
an accident
a gushing fountain
I didn't mean to I didn't mean to I didn't mean to
I didn't want to
Yet it is
And I am soaked in the drenching aftermath
With the valve no longer shut,
The flowing surrounds me,
building up at my feet
my ankles,
my knees
my waist
If only I could shut of the tap,
stop the flow
my chest
a gulp of air
a sigh
my own fault
my own careless failt
my neck
and I am surrounded
Drowning in my mistake,
Clutching at the unclutchable in an attempt to
get me out
And it sinks in
That I will sink
And I do.

Edited poetry - February 22, 2002

The grape falls
from the vine
rolls along the ground to lay beside my foot
a step,
and its juices flow.
No longer a grape,
its essence seeps into the earth
to give birth.

Stream of conscious writing - April 29, 2002

Saxaphone. A saxaphone. The saxaphone. My saxaphone. Curvy. Waivy. Notes, piercing the thick air. The groove, penetrating bodies. The contact between my lips and the mouth of the instrument. Air flowing down its neck though its body. Out of it. And then though they air, through the clouds. And through time. Time signatures. Time to play. Play, play, play, play, play. Play the truth. Hear the truth. Listen to the truth. An 'S' shape, revealing so much truth. What an experience. My experience. For me, for you.

is blog-stalking a punishable crime?

It's 3:52 am, and instead of sleeping I'm blog-stalking various people I know and also some people I don't know. This whole blog business seems to keep going in and out of mainstream fashion. Six years ago I had a dead journal, then a live journal, then 5 years passed, and now I'm back at it again. Although this time, I think I'm journaling more for my own enjoyment than to update the public about Jesse-happenings. I used to write in my real journal all the time, but there seems to be little time to sit down and write these days; so this typing nonsense actually works out quite well.

Erev Channukah is tonight, and instead of celebrating freedom from enslavement for the next eight days, I will be enslaved in writing an essay on Simone de Beavoire and studing for my Political Philosophy exam. And then there's the Reason, God, and the Mind exam I've got after that. I could go into a diatribe about how I feel exams really don't tell you much. But I'm too tired.

Next term I've only got three classes. Plus jazz guitar. Plus Ruddigore rehearsals. Plus Tempest rehearsals. Plus work at the theatre. Plus work at H&M (unless I quit, which is becoming very tempting as of late). Oy. Oy. Oy oy oy.

I'm interested in people's perspectives:

Question: Should blog-stalking be a punishable crime, and if so, please devise an appropriate punishment for this "heinous offence."

stealing shamelessly from carly (who already stole from ben)

copycat is my first name.

so the (lifted) proposition goes like this. you (yes you) can ask me any 3 questions (as comments to this blog) and i will answer them to the best of my ability

I heart "I heart huckabees"

Wow - this film was Sartre, de Beavoire, Heidegger, and Neitzche collapsed into two hours. But it was so fantastic. If I had the power to scream to the world, I would tell all to go see this film. It's not life changing, because existentialism isn't about getting people to change, but it is so.... life-thinking. It lets you think. It basically made a lot of the past three months of my contemporary existentialism class a hell of a lot clearer. And I'm thankful that I still have one class left so I can talk about this movie.

It reminded me specifically of one experience I had when I was younger:

I was 5 years old and in my grade one class at North York Montessori. As best as I can remember, I was working on a math problem - in those days, I was excellent at math; how things have changed. At some point, I decided that I was finished, that I didn't want to work on the math problem, and moreover, that I was so overwhelmed that I wanted to stop thinking.

Never in my life had it previously occured to me that it was impossible to stop thinking. Needless to say, it was quite a shock to realize such a momentous reality.

I tried and tried and tried, and the more that I tried, the more I realized that it was impossible. At the same moment, I realized that it's possible to think more than one thing at once. You know when you're thinking a whole lot of different things, each thought flowing over, under, and through each other... but then on top of them all, somwhere in the cracks and crevaces of your mind/brain/thinking-thing you have this sly little thought that "hey, look at how many things I'm thinking of. I'm so smart!"

But then that thought gets run-over by something else.

But you still have the notion above all else that you're thinking about different things.

Well I only realized this at age five. Or maybe you could say that "Wow, he was only five and look what he realized!" I don't know.

The point is that "I heart Huckabees" resonated with me as such. It was very exciting. I sat through the whole film (and am sitting right now) with a huge smile on my face. Yes, the movie was hilariously funny, and wise, and witty, and smart, and philosophical. But above all else, it was exciting. It was... interconnected.

Somebody pound me in the face with a big giant red ball. I want to stop thinking.